Life sucks.. seriously, just when you thought you were over the little bump in your life, shit happens and you feel like the world is ending.. Okay, maybe i exaggerate, the world ain't ending... yet. But it certainly feels like it, with the way I'm feeling in recent weeks.
Perhaps I'm just over reacting to stuff.. perhaps things are really just fine. But I can't or (psychologically)refuse to see it that way... There are so many things bothering me, waiting for me to solve. But yet they are all out of my control. Ain't nothing I can do about them for now, but wait. And if there's 2 things about me is that I'm a control freak and an impatient guy. So that makes for about the worse possible combination of things to happen in a situation.
I feel like i'm fighting multiple battles on many different fronts on my own... so many problems, no solutions. A lone soldier.. trudging up the fog filled battlefield, not knowing what lies ahead of him, not knowing if his next step will be on a land mine and blow up on his face. Should he take the next step? Or should he not? Logically, by prodding the field before taking his next step he'll be safe. But then, when you're in the battlefield you don't tend to think logically, the only thoughts that fill your head will be that of fear. I guess that's what plaguing me right now. Logically I know what needs/should be done. Yet knowing and doing are 2 very different things. And I can tell you doing is SO much more difficult. There's a reason why it's "easier said than done".
Perhaps if the soldier wasn't alone but accompanied by a platoon of soldiers, the path will be easier. But hey, let's not forget other soldiers also have their own battles to fight. Sometimes you've just got to fight your own battles alone. And thats what differentiates the boys from the men.
For now, I can only wait.. to see if I'm a boy.. or man.
And in case you dimwits out there haven't realized it, I(aka bx) didn't write the above.
No comments:
Post a Comment