Smile

People tell me that I don’t smile enough.

Guilty as charged.

It’s true, unless you are a pretty lady or I happen to strike 4D on that day, or else you can pretty much give up hope on me smiling at you. If you are lucky, I might give you a sneer, but that’s as far as I go. But that’s when I am with friends. You guys never see me when I am alone. (If I am alone, then there will no one around to see me!? Duh! Note to self: Some logic please.)

Sometimes when I am downstairs buying dinner, I can’t help but snicker when I recall silly things that people have said or done in my presence. Then I will smile at no one in particular, or sometimes at the hawkers. No wonder the auntie at the tomyam stall always give me extra sotong. Must be my award winning smile. Which could potentially explains why her husband is in permanent bad mood.

Why the reluctance to smile? I have no idea, so I am just going to make up some explanations that hopefully will divert your attention long enough before you realize that I am not making sense, exactly the way this sentence has just did and if you are slow reader, that’s what it’s going to do. And do remember boys and girls, just because I made it up, doesn’t make it wrong.

Back to the real reason, it’s because it signifies a commitment to smile next time to the same person you smile at previously. Say, you smiled at some bugger today, if you meet her at school again the next day, what would you do? There are only two reasons for that, either she can’t get enough of you and is stalking you, or she just happens to be in the same school as you (DID YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?) Anyway, if you smiled yesterday and you didn’t today, prepared to get hit with a shitload of questions like “Are you feeling ok?”, “You angry/emo today huh?”or “Oei, you still owe me five bucks leh.”

Another reason is because…. I am going to end this suddenly because someone shot my muse. Yes, I do realize this doesn’t make any sense, but I am not in a good mood, I can say anything I want and just apologize later.

Oh, do look out next week for my article on why I never apologize.

You deserve a medal

Congrats. You managed to break me.

Chocolate Talk

Lewis and me were lamenting over the state of the world in recent times over a cup of hot chocolate at Starbucks. The hostage situation, and Korea’s dilemma, the political unrest and breakdown of subprime in the world’s most powerful nation, the upset of balance in the world’s religion and the consequences that we all have to bear.

And women.

No men’s talk is ever complete without women. Heck, I bet no one reading where wants to know our view on other topics except the last one. In fact, we never did talk about the other topics.

Thus we came to talk about our women related troubles. Who loves who and who doesn’t loves who. And we came to the conclusion that with woman, it would be much better if we live like cavemen. See a girl you like? Take a club, knock her out and take her home. Of course in this civilized world, one can no longer do that. Plus, what if you hit her too hard on the head? Who’s going to cook and clean the house if she becomes an idiot?

Here’s the kicker though. My good man here suggested that instead clubbing them over the head, there’s this wonderful substance call alcohol which although is slightly more expensive would have the intended effect as well as being legal (I think). No doubt an excellent idea, but I guess in the name of public safely, I have to warn the ladies about this bud of mine. So women, next time this buddy of mine offers you a drink, think twice.

There you go, proof that you don’t need alcohol to say amazingly stupid things. Now I just pray that I don’t get sued for being sexist.

What are the aims of playing Mahjong?

1. To win

Granted someone as poor as me would be quite inclined to play mahjong in a mad bid to enjoy and to earn some pocket change as well. And of course I love the thrill of winning other people’s money. Hey, I even consider making it my part time job. Inspired by some of my friends who win shit loads of money on a regular basis, I would most certainly like to do that. Pat claims that he didn’t had to draw money for one year from an ATM, because he wins so enough to cover his daily expenses. Some where like 1k per weekend. Pocket change my ass.

2. Socialize

It’s a 4 player game, and of course you will have to talk to people. Aside from the occasional “pong” and “hu”, most likely you will end up about talking about a lot of other things, like soccer, girls and stuff. You know, just talking and laughing with your friends.

Yup, basically it’s those 2 main things people like about mahjong.

Not me. I just have to be different. In fact, I had no idea that I had picked secret option number 3.

3. Lose shit load of money consistently

Been down on my luck recently and I think I would be able to afford a down payment for a car if I hadn’t lost that much. Granted, it’s would only be a Cherry QQ, but heck, it’s still a car. (You know what they say about QQs, If you take a stone to throw at the QQ, your loss is much greater than the car owner. Your loss being the stone. Seriously, try to file a police report that your QQ was stolen. I give you 20 bucks if the policeman doesn’t burst out laughing)

I always took any mj losses as recreational money. Most of the time, it’s cheaper than a meal outside or a movie for 2. But holy shit, this time it is becoming more and more disgusting. Now I know how Kee felt the other time, when Neo with his red underwear wiped him clean. Sounds damn wrong, but heck, I can’t be bothered to press backspace to change it. Now that I got the image of Kee being wiped by Neo’s red underwear burned into my head, I guess I will never look at him the same way again. Brrrr….

But hey, don’t get me wrong. I love the game and I love the company. All my buds that I played with recently, all of them are awfully nice. And I guess I must say that I adore the Fa Cai and the mj cake that that I got. I would post pictures, but seem to be possessed by sloth of the sins. Sucks to be you then.

Just wait, I will be back.